Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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