I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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