he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.