What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.