PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this is an emotional support booty call
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
