if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's JV to your varsity
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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