I hate your face
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
