you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
