So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
