why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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