i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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