sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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