I wish I only lived at night.
please come you make the beer taste better
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
