is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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