2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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