I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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