Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
