You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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