I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
