theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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