We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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