Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
