if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
