My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize