i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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