Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
try to milk me bitch
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