i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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