I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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