If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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