Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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