you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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