omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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