So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
