WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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