drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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