I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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