did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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