you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
