Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
