Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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