Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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  (563): I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing http://tfl.nu/bqtp
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (591)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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  (732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking http://tfl.nu/oxvr
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (1932)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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  (850): The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad. http://tfl.nu/dk8u
  Replies (27) Good night (678) Bad night (5280)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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  (519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8
  Replies (10) Good night (2715) Bad night (1311)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?

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  (207): Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this? http://tfl.nu/g5cp
  Replies (9) Good night (3162) Bad night (702)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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  (614): just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible http://tfl.nu/tr7j
  Replies (1) Good night (1543) Bad night (658)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.

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  (+61): Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on. http://tfl.nu/q17g
  Replies (13) Good night (3478) Bad night (924)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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  (260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf
  Replies (9) Good night (1954) Bad night (546)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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  (412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3
  Replies (14) Good night (561) Bad night (2005)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing

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  (417): After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing http://tfl.nu/he4t
  Replies (11) Good night (1168) Bad night (449)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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  (919): Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him. http://tfl.nu/jn2a
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (283)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?

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  (903): How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing? http://tfl.nu/tt7s
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (297)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How about we just have a naked taco night instead?

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  (763): How about we just have a naked taco night instead? http://tfl.nu/yj58
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (206)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

  (845): View more from New York

  Hahah good point

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  (772): She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick? (845): Hahah good point http://tfl.nu/c3df
  Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (212)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with

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  (606): So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with http://tfl.nu/4l7x
  Replies (1) Good night (236) Bad night (448)

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