So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man