what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G