Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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  (615): my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole http://tfl.nu/xvf4
  Replies (36) Good night (1208) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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  (252): just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting http://tfl.nu/rg7x
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

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  (813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp
  Replies (41) Good night (5181) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

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  (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? http://tfl.nu/y5pd
  Replies (17) Good night (10413) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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  (502): new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home http://tfl.nu/1gm8
  Replies (25) Good night (7151) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year

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  (716): kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year http://tfl.nu/qbpm
  Replies (20) Good night (5377) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

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  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4916) Bad night (2969)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon

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  (859): She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon http://tfl.nu/ch80
  Replies (5) Good night (1703) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Beautiful, beautiful reality

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  (563): I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality? (208): Beautiful, beautiful reality http://tfl.nu/pfhr
  Replies (3) Good night (2140) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.

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  (574): I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child. http://tfl.nu/o0ig
  Replies (8) Good night (1919) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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  (812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns
  Replies (3) Good night (1178) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (787) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  It's a short, short story.

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  (601): I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex. (1-601): It's a short, short story. http://tfl.nu/1rzv
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size

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  (360): My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size http://tfl.nu/d6g3
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day

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  (541): Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day http://tfl.nu/9e9u
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (387)

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