I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids