I feel great
I just peed on a car
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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