Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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