I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
