I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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