OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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