i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
