Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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