yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dear god my vagina.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
