I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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