what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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