This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
