It's like God shit irony all over that family
we made out on top of his cat.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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