I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize