he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
