You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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