I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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