her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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