I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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