i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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