I got her a Nickelback box set.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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