I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
