Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize