his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
