Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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