sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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