It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
